Skyrim

I have been playing far too much Skyrim in the last week and a half and to actually review it at this point is a bit absurd. We can all agree that the game is great and move on. Still there are a few points in the game that I would like to address specifically.

Dragon Claw Keys

I can see the value in these. They are likely hard to replicate and even if you did you wouldn’t know the combination. The issue I have is that they put the combination on the bottom of the key. These doors are seriously over engineered with huge turning stones that had to have taken workmen months or years to build. During all of this time someone must have asked the foreman why they were doing all the extra work if anyone who had the key would know how to open the door immediately. Perhaps it was simply a recession in Skyrim and they were so glad to have work that no one was willing to admit that it was pointless work.

Alter Puzzles

I have run into a lot of these puzzles in a lot of forms, but in general you have a pillar you have to turn or levers you have to pull in a specific order. The odd thing is that in almost every case the solution to these puzzles is on the wall of the room.  Since I assume anyone in Skyrim would figure out these puzzles my thoughts are that these puzzles are the Nord’s way of taunting the Falmer who, being blind, would  be unable to solve these puzzles. For everyone else it simply slows them down.

The Way Out

I can understand the value of having a quick way out of a tomb. After all if you’re one of the workmen building these giant tombs you don’t want to have to walk through the entire crypt to get home at the end of the day.  The problem is that after having walked through enough of these giant crypts to discover that there was a path that would have taken a tenth the time I begin to wonder that not one of these people left the back door open. Just once I would like to go into a tomb discover that the back way was opened, bypass the hoard of undead grab the one thing I need and leave without incident.

Why don’t these people know me?

I understand that there are a lot of people running around Skyrim and there is no reason for anyone who doesn’t know me to know why I am, but there are times when it can be a bit insulting. I’m the archmage of the college you live in, we fought a dragon together a few days ago and yesterday I spent five thousand gold buying things from you, but now that I show up with someone else you don’t know me.  I get it, you’re too good for me. You’ve got to impress people after all and I need you for now, but don’t think I’m going to forget this. When the great purge comes, and it will come, you will be among those who are to suffer and not simply be removed.